Ooooh, the sweet feeling of receiving a compliment or being acknowledged for something! Did I just give away something about myself ? Even those who claim to shy away from attention will be meeting that need in a more subtle way, such as as wearing a uniform or perhaps performing good deeds. The more obvious ways People will draw attention to themselves is to wear outlandish clothes, boast about their achievements or even swear in every other sentence! Those who have been attention deprived can often be labelled ‘show offs’ looking for attention at all costs good or bad. The need for attention is natural but it is the way we choose to get attention and feel significant as a consequence is the key. Getting attention through being controlling, shouting, bullying or cutting people down is still meeting a need for attention but is detrimental not only to the person who is exhibiting the behaviour but also those around them. To give a person your total presence and attention is a gift and will not only build them up but you may find you come away feeling good about having contributed to another persons wellbeing. In a world that often associates being busy with success and people’s communication is often virtual – holding a space for each other & truly listening can meet this need for all involved. Equally though, if you are person who is constantly meeting another person’s needs, such as children, parents or partner you may find your self feeling depleted and in need of some attention yourself. Some of the people that have had therapy sessions with me often comment they feel “calmer ” afterwards. This is often because their need to attention has been met. Watch for how you are meeting this need and notice it in action in those around you. You may find it gives you a clearer understanding of why somebody is behaving in the way they are and how you may need to create more balance in this area for yourself.
